Moving the heck on

I honestly didn't know how to react when I got the dreaded "I am sorry to inform you but unfortunately we cannot offer you a place on Clinical sciences/ Foundation year medicine"...

Funnily enough, I had just come back from a lovely outing with my mum for some retail therapy. I was mostly shocked at first and then confused. Panic then started to surge through me. I'd been very cocky and only applied to Bradford and not anywhere else.

I think after the whirlwind of panic and shock, disappointment really set it. For so many reasons. I felt mostly disappointed at that I'm still in the same place I was 3 years ago and have literally not moved in terms of career or uni life. Left behind yet again. I genuinely thought I'd be off to uni, which brings me two my second source of frustration. That is, work has not been going well recently. not in the capability/ competency side of things but the elements of the job. I was in tears 2nd day post disappointment, up to my shoulder's in some poor lady's diarrhea, and thinking "well, this is you for the next year or so", and at that I just broke down.

Being a HCA is great for the most part, but the negative parts of the job seemed to have been amplified since my uni rejection and I can't seem to shift it. I am stuck in a rut at the moment.

On a positive note, I guess, I am in part trying to move things on with my new uni applications. I've scoured the internet for foundation/gateway medicine as my grades are well below the standard of a regular medical school applicant. I'm currently preparing for my UKCAT and organising some volunteering.

I never seem to learn my lesson, even the hard way.

When life squeezes lemon juice in your eyes

When life squeezes lemon juice in your eyes, it's a shock. It gives you a shock. It stings , you cry. Rubbing at your eyes to try and get your sight back. Rub, rub, rub. Your eyes still remain sore.

One day, you find the cold water. splash your face. Holding it to your face. Hoping to feel full refreshed, but that dull ache remains. remnants of that lemon juice. You splash again, take a deep breath.

You dry your face , keeping it buried in the towel, soft and comforting. Wanting to stay comforted. hiding your eyes.

You take the towel away. Eyes sensitive from the cold rinse and warm, slightly suffocating towel. A lungful of deep breath, you are ready to see again.

How to get a job and keep it

Whether you need one for the money or experience, here are some of my tips, from my own experience of how to get a job.

we've all been here

You need to want it. Bad.

I didn't get any of my jobs, and I'm on my fourth, by casually flicking through sites like indeed.co.uk or gumtree then doing nothing about it. I spent day in day out, scouring all sorts of job sites, and a few questionable ones too, which have most likely sold my details on to third party websites (so be careful and stick to well known ones). Moving on, I also spent some time crafting up a 2 page c.v, whilst spending what felt like weeks chasing up references to back up my character.
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Filling in pages of a company's on-line application may sound boring because it is, ranging from the simple likert type personality scales "in this situation what would you most likely do?", to the "in a maximum of 1,000 characters, tell us why you'd be suited to this role". Job seeking is boring, and hard and takes quite a lot of effort and if you aren't even willing to search for one, then you've already proved that you lack the work ethic that is demanding of any job, because there are always jobs and tasks that you need to that are basically crap but need to be done.

You need to be in charge.

Complaining about how finding a job is tricky and not bothering to go look for one because of this is NOT the way to get you a job. Waiting for something to fall into your lap is just going to waste time. I printed out a few dozen copies of my c.v and travelled to my two local towns and around my village, littering the local shops and cafe's (the only places I was old enough to work in) with my two page essay on why they should hire me. I filled in dozens upon dozens of on-line applications, emailing my c.v to a few billion managers too.

The point I'm really trying to highlight (albeit rather poorly), is that you are the one who wants the job so you are the one who needs to be proactive, taking charge of the changes you are trying to make in your life.

You need to be okay with rejection.

R-E-J-E-CTED, REJECTED. If you get that reference oh dear, or congratulations late 90's kid, but yes, being able to receive and take the bitter taste of rejection will put you in good stead for the journey that is job-hunting, plus if you are intending to go to university , you'll get to experience it on a whole new level. In one of my ,what I coined, application seasons, I must've applied to about 30 jobs and only got 2 replies, and overall probably 200+ on-line applications alone. So be prepared for the old "we regret to inform you theyou aren't suitable because reasons", with the the important concept being not to hold onto the negativity of  rejection, but going straight back to searching. With anything competition based such as applying to university,  to even a drawing competition, you'll always be up against people who are just as talented and experienced as you are.

Do some work. 

If you're just starting out at job it's vital to make some work friends in order for the harder times at work to seem less dreary and annoying, just as it is to actually put your nose to the grindstone and actually get on with your job. It'll make a good impression, particularly if you're new to the whole job thing and will ensure you have a new employer reference, which will make looking for a new job  heck of a lot easier if you want to apply to other jobs.

Being a work-bitch doesn't work. 

Particularly a passive aggressive one. It just draws unnecessary attention to yourself and gives you a bad name.Trust me, from experience this never works. If you have a problem with someone or something, just go straight to your manager, nipping it straight in the bud. However, if even the managers aren't willing to fix the problem then chances are it won't be sorted, and if this bothers you, it's time for you to get the heck out of there. Being just an outright bitch doesn't work either, as again, everybody will hear about it, and if you don't have work friends to back you up, you'll find yourself in a sticky situation.


So there you have it, a few of my work experiences/ mistakes, craftily turned into advice to help you guys get your foot in the door or on the first rung of your job ladder etc.

Dusting off the ol' brain cells

Just took a look at the specification of the BMAT, "scientific knowledge students should know" , and it consists of about 2 and a half pages of science and maths topics I should already know from GCSE's. My first thought was , okay I can handle this, but really looking in detail I now realise that I'll have to go back to square one and re-learn all my GCSE and some A-level knowledge. The A-level knowledge is going to be fairly straightforward to polish up , but it's just the GCSE maths I'm a bit unsure of.

I was never a math whiz or completely unable, just the clumsy in between. Like, I managed to get a B at GCSE  but was very bad at AS level maths, so I really don't know how I'm going to get along with re-learning everything. I think a lot of my issues with maths is the anxiety I always used to get when coming to a final answer. I was never usually correct in my answers , so whenever I did come up with the right one , I used to dismiss it because it came from me (I also experienced these issues during the majority of my A-levels.)

But I guess ,like with most things, there is a silver lining in that I have an opportunity to learn without the imminent pressures of exams, and can just take this as a chance to gain my own confidence with subjects that have held me back for a while. Plus, I've always found that in order for myself to really master and enjoy a skill, I actually have some understanding , which is not what I always had with maths. So hopefully with these few months off for my gap year, I can really get these skills underwraps and polished off. So I can hopefully use these skills to the best of my advantage when needed at Bradford university one day...

Or even a passing grade at AS-Level maths...

Back in the game

After 7 weeks of doing absolutely nothing ( by absolutely nothing, I mean being off work and knee deep in A-level exams)donning my trusty uniform and sketchers, with memory foam I must brag, I returned to the proverbial workplace. It was hard, like any work is, but it just felt kinda meh. I just felt so lost and ditzy. I purposely chose a quieter ward to start with after my hiatus, to ease myself back into it, but I felt something was missing.

I just seemed to flounder a little, not really knowing what to do, and in true bank staff style I just floated, darting in and out of all bays, helping anyone that needed help.

I guess I've found it a bit tricky to re-adjust to the rigours of work after being off for so long. There are so many routines and protocols in healthcare, which are very subject to change, so being in work almost 100% of the time is very helpful if you want to keep up,as I found out in my annual training updates. Which of course consisted of the old death by power-point spiel.

So it's back to square one, re-learning all the routines and building rapports with patients, but the only way is up.