Moving the heck on

I honestly didn't know how to react when I got the dreaded "I am sorry to inform you but unfortunately we cannot offer you a place on Clinical sciences/ Foundation year medicine"...

Funnily enough, I had just come back from a lovely outing with my mum for some retail therapy. I was mostly shocked at first and then confused. Panic then started to surge through me. I'd been very cocky and only applied to Bradford and not anywhere else.

I think after the whirlwind of panic and shock, disappointment really set it. For so many reasons. I felt mostly disappointed at that I'm still in the same place I was 3 years ago and have literally not moved in terms of career or uni life. Left behind yet again. I genuinely thought I'd be off to uni, which brings me two my second source of frustration. That is, work has not been going well recently. not in the capability/ competency side of things but the elements of the job. I was in tears 2nd day post disappointment, up to my shoulder's in some poor lady's diarrhea, and thinking "well, this is you for the next year or so", and at that I just broke down.

Being a HCA is great for the most part, but the negative parts of the job seemed to have been amplified since my uni rejection and I can't seem to shift it. I am stuck in a rut at the moment.

On a positive note, I guess, I am in part trying to move things on with my new uni applications. I've scoured the internet for foundation/gateway medicine as my grades are well below the standard of a regular medical school applicant. I'm currently preparing for my UKCAT and organising some volunteering.

I never seem to learn my lesson, even the hard way.